The closeness and size of this shot makes me anxious to post it. But, this project is about stepping outside of my comfort zone and learn to accept myself and my flaws.
A huge struggle I have on the daily (do kids say that still?) is with my skin. This photo is editing, it’s not natural – obviously! I have, what I find to be, severe adult acne. Now kids, you think that you are suffering from acne in your teenage years… let me tell you, adult acne is much worse. Underneath my caked on makeup – not a makeup artist – is a lot of red. Mostly, it is scarring with a few zits here and there, but the scarring and tad bit of rosacea are what really take the cake here – cake has been mentioned twice and now I want some. When I see a zit, my instinct is to pop. So, I realize that the scarring is upon my own infliction of picking.
It really eats at you. My self-esteem is at a very low point as it is – I will get into that stuff along this journey – so having to cover up my face to not feel as insecure sucks. I know that people tell you that you shouldn’t care what other’s think or say. Most of the time I don’t give two poops – not even three! – but this is something I find just too hard to shrug off.
This photo is not perfect but neither am I. That is why I am sharing it with all of you.
I hope that one day I will walk out of my house, with no makeup on, and feel perfectly okay with my imperfections.